Katie paints her fingernails. And the bathroom counter. And her Leapfrog. And the toilet, wall, and blinds.

I got home last night and saw my almost-5-year-old daughter in one of her designer outfit creations (this day happened to include her grey, pink, and cream mouse socks, her brown and pink skirt, her neon orange/green heart tank top, and her blue, pink, and white polkadot bathrobe) and after I admired how lovely she looked, I noticed the nail polish on her nails.  I exclaimed over the pretty color and asked if daddy had painted them for her.  She said yes but... daddy looked at me with raised eyebrows and said nope.

Then daddy told me to go look in the bathroom.

*sigh*

That's usually what I do when daddy tells me to "go look" at something.  Or when I hear Jake in the kitchen and the splat of liquid hitting the floor.

On my way to the bathroom, I noticed one of the brand new, child proof cabinet locks I got from Target the night before laying on the living room floor.  These were for the kitchen cabinets; one for the cupboard under the kitchen sink that I store our cleaner/detergent in, replacing the plastic bag we had tied around the knobs (it wasn't a good look, but it worked), and one for the cupboard with pots and pans because Jake's been using the shelf in the pots and pans cabinet to test his climbing skills and he can now reach about 2 feet higher onto our kitchen counters. Not good.

I asked John if he took them off and he said nooo, because he couldn't figure out how to use them (which would be funny if I hadn't had to consult the directions more than once myself to figure the things out) and I looked at Katie, who immediatly pointed the finger at Jacob.  I wondered if maybe I hadn't tightened them enough and Jake strong armed them off (because he's good at that) but really I figured it was her because I remembered that she was standing right.next.to.me. as I read and reread those cryptic directions.  So I put them back on, tighter than before in case it really was Jake.

*sigh*

Off I went to check the damage with a pit stop to glance into Katie's room.  I noticed the metal nail file on the floor and yelled to John that it was there and DANGEROUS!  He yelled back that he thought he already picked one up.  Which made me even more nervous about opening the bathroom door.

So I figured I would open it a bit at a time, slowly.  The first 6 inches revealed a Leapfrog Explorer that Katie LOVES to play with.  She had accessorized with polish on the screen and the buttons.  Lovely.  Oh, and lines of polish on a section of the counter.  Not... terrible... so I continued opening the door.

More polish on the other side of the sink.  And on the wall by the toilet.  And on one of the blinds slats.  And on the handle and step of the step stool.  And on my shower curtain.  I was a little less pleased about that (everything else would come off with polish remover).  I saw a little streak on her potty chair seat, still okay.  And then... I saw the bottle of nail polish remover.  The cover was laying on the floor and the bottle was empty.  I didn't see evidence of a spill anywhere so I decided to ignore that.

Katie knew I was upset, she got a time out because she used MOMMY's stuff.  This stuff isn't just laying around... It was in the bathroom cupboard UNDER the bathroom sink, secured with a little "child proof" thing you need to push down and at the same time pull the door open before the cupboard will open.  It was also in a little plastic case with tabs on each side that I have trouble opening.  And she got in and opened up her little bottle of polish all by herself.

Here's my question... How long are things that say "child proof" really supposed to be child proof?  At what age does the kid have the smarts and dexterity to open this so-called CHILD PROOF stuff?  I'll tell you... almost 5 years old.

*sigh*

While I was talking to her about the dangers of nail polish, I noticed that she had taken one of my new bins from my bedroom closet and packed it full of her books.  She totally took something of mine (new, in the wrapper) opened it up and stole it.  We talked again about MOMMY's stuff and how it is NOT Katie's.

*sigh*

Then, I noticed that there were a number of dish towels laying around the living room.  I asked what happened and she said she was trying to clean up water Jake had spilled.  I told her that it was nice of her to do that but she could just tell daddy.  She does not need to pull out 9 of my kitchen towels to clean up the water and then leave them all strewn about the room...

*sigh*

I wondered if it might be time for bed yet?  It was 6:00 p.m. after all...

But no, too early, and we hadn't eaten dinner yet.  John picked up Zantigo because I was just thinking that this was not going to be a "relaxing, make dinner for the gang while the kids play nicely" kind of a night.  I guessed that it might be more of a "scarf down dinner fast so I can be ready to follow the kids around so I could make sure they don't pick this one night to get into something they've never paid attention to ever before" kind of night (ahem, Katie).

So John gets home with the food, I head to the kitchen with Jake and get our chairs out (folding chairs we have to store behind the table between meals so Jacob doesn't use them to climb... you know, so he can hit the ice and water buttons on our fridge, for example) when I hear a thud, then Katie crying. 

I look into the living room to see Katie on the floor next to what used to be a table (the kind that you can scoot under furniture because it's only got legs on one side) but is now two pieces of wood - the base and side legs... and the top.  From what I can piece together, she had one hand on the arm of the couch and the other on the tabletop and pushed off... and landed chin first on the table.

She's got a little scar but it's not terrible.  I made her laugh and we continued on to dinner.  She posed for this before we ate.

After dinner I collapsed onto the couch enjoyed some relaxing time on the couch.  Till I heard Jake in the kitchen all by himself and wondered what he found in there.  I thought I might have forgotten to put one of the chairs back behind the table... then I heard the splat of liquid hitting the floor, and his laughter.

I rushed into the kitchen to find him holding Katie's almost empty juice glass.  Right next to the juice he dumped out on the floor.  I don't know how he manages to dump out the glass but avoid the splatter.

Grandpa came upstairs to hang a shelf, then take it down again because it wasn't very sturdy.  Jake started to walk around with the hammer.  Cried because I took that away.

Finally decided that it was jammy time at around 9 and the kids ran around like crazies till I put on "An American in Paris" which (surprisingly) they both liked... at least, they enjoyed the song and dance parts.

Katie was laying on the floor to watch and holding a package of wipes and Jake saw that and picked up the other package of wipes and the bag of diapers from the diaper box and he laid down too.
They both hung out till I said it was bedtime (about 30 minutes).  Jake got up, put back the packet of wipes, then went back and grabbed the diapers to put those away too (much to my amazement).  Then he went to the chair all of his toys were on and we both picked up some toys and walked to his room.  Put them in his crib, put him in his crib, shut the door and went to find Katie.  She was in bed (much to my amazement).  She got up a few minutes later which was good, because I had forgotten about the nailpolish just waiting for a cleaner. 

I asked her if I would find nailpolish anywhere else that I hadn't already seen and she opened up the CHILD PROOF lock on the cabinet to show me a little burst of color on the inside of the door.  I left that as a reminder to myself that she's not so little anymore...

*sigh*

She cleaned up some of the mess with the nailpolish remover (luckily I had a little left in another bottle) and then I sent her to bed while I finished.

Later that night, I went into the bathroom, lifted the toilet lid, and shook my head at the streaks of polish there.  Was nothing left untouched?

I checked on her before I went to bed and she was wearing the sleep mask all tucked in.  Looked like a little angel.

What a stinker.