Thursday, July 21, 2016

At least 32% easier...

So it's been a while. 

In the time I've been away (and this post might not mark my return to blogging; it's actually a Facebook post that got so extremely long that I thought, "Hmmmmm, this is way too long. Anyone who reads this is going to go cross eyed if I put it here... Wait!... Where's that blog again?")...

Ahem... Starting over...

In the time I've been away... 

I've gotten a divorce (but have a great texting relationship with the kids' dad and they see him every other weekend), gotten a new job (same place I had been working, just in a new area), and have been trying to let my kids be more independent and make choices for themselves (while giving the full disclaimer that those choices come with consequences, so make good ones). 

Things in the last year or two could have been so difficult for me with bills and house stuff and kid stuff and work stuff, but I have a great family, and parents especially, who have been there for me in good and bad times. Parents who got involved, came to school events, went with me and the kids to fun activities where three kids and one mom would have been challenging, and so much more. I couldn't have asked for a better support.  (They DO live with me, so they were already around for some of it, but they chose to take on more just to help me.)

So now, looking back on where I was to where I am now, I just have to say, things with  life and with the kids are so much easier (or at least 32% easier) than they were just a year ago. 

Katie... She's 10 now and is such a good helper... she'll read to her brothers or play a video game or computer game with them and I can hear her talking with such patience and kindness (she helps with chores that aren't hers, too, like the clear table chore Jacob drew tonight). She is "obsessed with the color blue" (like a minty teal blue) right now, and is so excited to move her room downstairs... her room will be teal blue and grey. 

She's also been showing a very mature side... I got a call from Katie at day care a couple of weeks ago asking me to pick her up early because there was bullying going on at the day care. The teachers took care of it, but she didn't want to stay because she felt uncomfortable. I guess the mean girls were trying to get her to join them in the bullying and she wouldn't, which is a huge relief because, until my kid was faced with the situation of bullying and peer pressure - and these bullying girls were friendly with her at day care!, I wasn't sure how she would handle it; I was so proud of her for choosing wisely. 

Later, after everything had been talked through, I remembered I had told her, and my boys, from a very young age, that if they're in a situation they don't want to be in or in trouble, they could call me and I'd come get them.  (I also tell them that if they were doing something they shouldn't be doing and they call me to get them out of the situation, I would come, and I wouldn't yell at them when I picked them up. I'd very patiently wait until the next morning...) So maybe some of what I say is sticking? I hope so...

Jacob is 7 and is very responsible and conscientious (sometimes I'll tell him to go do something and I'll go to remind him and he's already done it, he just didn't make a fuss about it!) and he loves to explain things... he also enjoys a good joke and has a very good sense of what is fair. He likes to cuddle, but only if it's just him (he doesn't want to share mom with his brother or sister). 

And he LOVES Minecraft, playing Minecraft, watching Minecraft videos, talking about Minecraft. He usually brings two of his (Minecraft) books to day care each day but  the other day he was sad because he was sure  he had forgotten them. I was going to bring them to his class but could only find one. I got there and he's got a friend sitting next to him and another on the carpet holding one of the "forgotten" books. Turns out he left them at school and the book I brought was Katie's. Left that with him and when I walked past the room again (after checking on Jack), saw him and 3 other little boys sitting around the table... talking Minecraft. 

He does not enjoy being outside. Some days, when it's nice, I have to tell him that we're all going to spend 10 minutes outside (I'm not outdoorsy, but I go too). Usually once he's out there, he finds something fun to do and, before we know it, 30 minutes has passed! And sometimes even 45!

Lastly, Jackson. Jackson is 5 and, well, he's Jackson. He's been getting away with pretty much everything until recently because he's been "the baby". And, because he's super cute and knows it, it's gone on for far too long.  

Now, because I figured I should try to prepare him to be more responsible because he'll be in kinder next year, he's got to do "big kid" stuff, like putting away his laundry and doing home chores, so he can have the benefits of being a "big kid." 

One of the benefits is going to bed when "the big kids" go to bed. (Shhhhhh, don't tell him that bedtime is at any time between 6 pm and 9 pm, and that the earlier bed times are often randomly chosen by me based on how well the kids are getting along and how tired I am.) he loves hearing that it's time for big kids to go to bed and when he asks me if that means him too, I say, "Of course! You're a big kid!"

It's so fun to see him work on filling the dishwasher or setting the table (he likes to pick out just the right plates and cups, and he laughs when he sneaks in a baby spoon at someone's spot!). 

He's been having a hard time at day care, though, just like his big brother did at the same age, and pretty much making his teachers roll their eyes and sigh heavily. We're working on that so it will hopefully NOT be a big deal in the fall. 😳

School is starting in a little over a month, and I think I have three kids who are ready and excited to go. I'm so proud of them. 

(*I'm* not prepared to see them as a kindergartner, 2nd grader, or MIDDLE SCHOOLER, though. And I am definitely soooo not fully prepared for all of the school supplies... those  lists are crazy!)

They still have their moments when they make ME roll MY eyes and sigh heavily, but overall, I'm so proud of the people they're growing up to be.

So this turned out to be a rather lengthy post. I'm glad I remembered this blog and maybe I'll remember to post more here... Life's been good, but super busy, so who knows what will come up in the next little while!

Also, it's super late and I'm trying not to be such a perfectionist in the things I have a tendency to over think (like, say, anything I write) so... I'm posting this without reading it over 5 times. Good night!