Saturday, August 10, 2013

You've got a friend in me... or, Surreal Errand Trip

We were in the car yesterday after day care pick up. I had a very... optimistically extensive errand list that I didn't think we would get through but I decided to just take a deep breath and go for it.

We headed to the library first to return a stack of books that were just a tiny bit overdue. We used the outside book return. Jake went first with his books, then Jack returned mine, then Katie, who had been waiting patiently with her three books, went. Jackson didn't realize that his fun was over and he turned to Katie expecting to put one of her books in the return. When she saw his sad face, she gave him not one, but TWO of her books to return. I was very proud of her kindness.

We hopped back into the car and headed to the mall. I wanted to go to Bath and Body for their free lotion. We parked and I went to the back to get the stroller out. Katie and Jake hopped out of the car and I reminded them that they needed to keep a hand on the car when we were in parking lots. Now, usually they ignore me until I threaten to put them back into the car but that day they actually listened!

I got Jackson settled and buckled in (he loves the stroller, or maybe it's just that he loves getting out!). Then I told Jacob that his spot was going to be next to the stroller, holding on to the side. Imagine my surprise when he actually listened and did what I asked! The whole time we were in the mall, except when he forgot, and for the couple of minutes at DEB when I told him he could dance to the music, and a few minutes at Bath and Body when he was smelling stuff. And when he forgot and walked off I just had to ask him "Jacob? Where are you supposed to be right now?" and he was back before I could blink.

There were a couple of tense moments when he and Jackson started to scuffle. But Jacob was holding onto the side of the stroller the whole time. HA!

Oh, and I don't shop at DEB. Never been in it. But Katie asked if we could go so I said yes. We went in and she marched her way to the back of the store. We looked at sparkly dresses and I put some of them up to her in front of the mirror so she could see how she looked. Then she asked where they did ears. And that the girl "over there" (points a few racks over to a little girl maybe a year older than her) was telling her mom that she was nervous to have her ears pierced. So we asked if they did ears, and they don't. It was a little odd. Then Katie led us out and off we went back to the car.

We stopped to get some groceries (and of course I realized once we got home that I was almost out of milk and orange juice, ugh) and then picked up a pizza for dinner. There was no fighting. None.

Then, on the ride home from the pizza place I sang them that James Taylor song about "you've got a friend in me". Katie looks at the boys and says, "If you ever needed me, I would come. And Jacob, if you were drowning in the water, I would throw you a life saver. And then I would jump in and pull you to shallow water. and save you. Because you're my brother." It was one of those "awwwwww" moments. And pretty awesome to hear, as their mother who gets to hear all of the fights and yelling.

And the other day when Katie was doing naughty things and Jacob was following her lead (mostly not listening at an earlier trip to the store), I told him that he shouldn't go along with her if she was doing something mommy didn't want her to do. I asked him if he was going to listen to Katie or if he was going to listen to mommy next time... because if he listened to mommy he wouldn't get into trouble. He looks at me and says, "Mommy, I don't want to choose sides."

While their teaming up can be a little trying sometimes (because I seriously don't need TWO children looking at me like I'm a big dork much less three with Jackson joining the crew), I love that they're sticking together. And that Katie would be there for them if they needed her. I always tell them, "You don't have to like each other, but you have to love each other because your brothers and sister will always be there."

So far that whole "love each" other thing is tested daily with arguments, stuff being thrown, scuffles that end with someone crying, water being spilled, but there are more and more "I'll always be there" moments like this one. And I'm very grateful for that.

Saturday, August 3, 2013


Hi all. It's been awhile since I've posted. I've got some personal stuff going on that I never thought I would be going through (DUM dum dummmmm) and I've been avoiding a lot of things computer related. And paper related. And phone related.

I'm not going to say a lot about it here, other than to share that I'm filing for a divorce*. Well, I'll start filing as soon as I finally force myself to dig around for the documents I need. Which could take me awhile. If you remember the social security card debacle you'll know what I mean. (I actually did get that taken care of, finally. It was very anticlimactic. Disappointing really.)

*Yes, divorce. Queue the violins. And the sad trumpets. And the clowns with sad, frowney faces ... wait, no clowns. *shudder* Too scary.

Meanwhile, the kids are doing great (considering the situation) and all of them are in the same day care over the summer. Hooray for not having to drop two off in one place and the other somewhere else!

The two older kids are taking lots of fun classes. The baby (who's two so he's not so babyish anymore!) gets to participate in one of the classes but otherwise that age group is just too little for the cooking, outside adventures, and dance routine classes the older kids get to do. He's pretty busy anyway with all of the crafts they do in his class and the play time they have.

It's so cute to see them with their friends at pick up and drop off. Katie is still friends with the same two girls she met when she was four and started with the day care. Jacob seems to make friends pretty easily but he talks about the same two boys pretty regularly (and when he saw another friend in the hall, they shared a goodbye hug which was very cute!). Jackson is friends with everyone. It surprised me that he could name the kids from their pictures in the hallway. I mean, hearing him talk these days I have to look to make sure it's Jackson talking and not Jacob! There are times when I can't understand anything but those times are getting fewer and fewer.

Some highlights from the week:
1. Jackson ate toothpaste. Sure, he ate it off of a toothbrush (neither of which were his) so that's a step in the right direction.
2. Katie told me we were all (me, Katie, Jacob, and Jack) BFFIID's or "Best Friends Forever Intil I Die"... we'll be working on spelling.
3. I bought the kids squirt bottles from Target. BEST 97 cent purchase ever. They go outside and have a great time spraying everything.
4. We had a movie night and watched Jumanji while we ate popcorn.
5. Jacob loves Darth Vader. Still.

So, while the divorce is horrible, I'm doing pretty well. And I'm actually happier than I've been in a long time. Which is really saying something.