Birth certificates and taxes

Well, it's official.  Birth certificate stuff is my nemesis.

I'm not sure if you remember the birth certificate debacle from last year (if not, you can read here for a refresher) but basically I put off getting one for Katie, didn't even think about it, until I learned that we needed it to enroll her in kindergarten, then the race was on. It worked out but it was stressful.

If you do remember, well, you're probably wondering how I could have run into problems so soon. I mean, neither of the boys is old enough to enroll in school so no rush there. And we're not traveling so we don't need it for that. (Given the timing, you can probably guess why we need it but let's pretend I'm keeping you in suspense till the end of the post . Like a mystery...)

Well. I can explain. And I'm happy to report that it is not my fault. Well, not all of it is my fault.


The story begins a long time ago, in a land far away... or rather...

Back in June of 2011 when I had my third and final baby. While I was in the hospital after giving birth, I filled out a lot of forms. A whole mess of them.

On one of those forms there was a little tiny box that parents were supposed to check off if they wanted to receive a shiny new social security card in the mail mere months after giving birth.

I checked that box. Unfortunately it did not occur to me that I should have been keeping an eye out for the card to show up.

Finally, I realized* (when the clinic bill came for some of Jack's well checks and I actually opened the letter and saw that the total was in the THOUsands... and freaked out a little before I realized that it was because they didn't have a SSN for him) that I hadn't seen the card yet.

*I *might* have realized this in January (okay, yes, it was January).

So I called the hospital and explained my dilemma and before I had taken my next breath, the lady told me to call the social security office. And that was that.

So I did and let me just say, have you ever had to call the social security office? I waited for probably 25 minutes for someone to answer my call for help and was on the phone for maybe 3 minutes - just long enough to explain my problem, and listen to some fast typing by the rep, before I was told to call the hospital again because the social security office didn't show any request for a card.

Soooo, I called the hospital back. And after waiting on hold (for 15 minutes I would never get back)  then being told yet again that I needed to contact the social security office, and then INSISTING the hospital needed to look into the issue, the nurse researched. She found out that whoever sent in that batch of requests had not marked whatever she should have marked so I would get that shiny new card in the mail.

And I asked her if I had checked that box on my form (because I had a tendency to fill out the forms in the wee hours of the night when there was nothing else to do and it's entirely possible I hadn't checked it.)

But, you guys, I DID check that box!

So you can maybe imagine my frustration at being told that I would now need to request a card from the social security office. So, I called social security again to explain the situation. Hoping that there was a special "go-to-the-front-of-the-line" prize for people with my special circumstances.

I can now tell you that there is not a special prize.

You get the same sucky "prize" as the people who forgot to check the stupid box in the first place. Can you guess what that is?

Ahhh, I'm happy to tell you.

You get to mail in a request for a BIRTH CERTIFICATE. And once that arrives, *then* you get to mail in the request for a social security card.

I checked last week to see how long it would take to get the birth cert and it looks like they're starting to work on the requests received in... oh, mid to late February. Yes. They're more than 2 months behind.

More. than. two. months.

So you might wonder why it took me so long to start this whole process after talking to someone months ago and I'll tell you.

I'm not proud of it but...

I was sulking. I was grumbling. I was mad and holding a grudge against the nice hospital lady who couldn't help me at all. And every time I started thinking about it, I would get madder and I would get huffier.

And I was protesting against the injustice of it all.  (And maybe whining a little bit.)  And... well, I didn't think I would need it for 4.5 more years, so I was procrastinating the whole thing.

And then? I started filling out my taxes (on April 12). And realized that the social security number is necessary if I wanted to claim Jack... and boy did I ever!

So here it is, almost a month later. I'm still huffy. And I'm still feeling a little grudgy. But I put the form in the mail last week.

Now I wait.

And hope that I get everything by October so I can file by the extension date.

Katie's Kindergarten Registration? Already?

I got the letter from Katie's elementary school the other day telling me that we're scheduled for kindergarten registration next month.

This seems to be happening just a tiny bit too fast.

I checked off the list of things I needed and, happily, seem to have all of them ready to go.  All except one tiny thing.


The birth certificate.



The birth certificate that I never actually requested... 5 years ago.

Insert gasp here.

Now, I'll admit that it's not hard to return a form.  As a matter of fact, I thought I returned the form waaaaay back when Katie was a tiny baby. 

I realized about 3... years... later that I had not.  When I found the envelope (neatly stamped and addressed) in a planner I rarely (really rarely) use.

And when she was 3 or even 4, I didn't actually need her birth certificate so it wasn't a big deal.  I thought I could get around to it when I had a chance (probably at the same time I requested Jake's since I couldn't tell you if I sent the form in for him either).  And now?  Well NOW I need that birth certificate.  By early March.  So I can bring it to registration.

So I don't have to babble some incoherent explanation about how I didn't send it in when she was born even though I thought I had and when I found out I hadn't, I just didn't think I would need it so soon so I didn't send it in then either and now I sent the form but I have to wait for it to arrive because expediting the delivery and the process would have cost an arm and a leg... as I open a paper bag to breath into.  The kind of explanation I give, when inside my head I'm saying "Shut up already!"

So, I'm going home tonight to check the one place I've managed to successfully store the kids' social security cards and hope that maybe I'll find one certificate for Katie and one certificate for Jake in that same envelope and I'll be able to save the $45 per kid that it would cost to replace them.  You know, $26 for the birth certificate, certified of course, and $19 for the extra copy of the same certified birth certificate that I will keep as a backup. 

Because it's got to be some kind of Murphy's law that if you only order one of something important, you'll lose it...  or someone will cut it up with child scissors. 

BUT if you order two, you're golden.  No one will want anything to do with whatever you've got, as long as there is more than one.  Aaaaaaand as long as it's not candy.  Or anything colorful.  Or dangerous. 

Or any combination of the above.