Monday, June 14, 2010


I want to hurry home,
           lock the doors and windows,
                     shut the curtains,
                              and turn the radio on. 



Katie starts preschool on Tuesday.  And I'm afraid.

I'm afraid that the kids won't be super nice to her.
I'm afraid that she won't make any friends.
I'm afraid that she will hate it there and cry when it's time to go.
I'm afraid that she will love it so much that she doesn't want to go home.
I'm afraid that she will like the teachers she's with for 8 hours a day, three days a week, better than she loves me.
I'm afraid that we won't be able to afford it and I'll have to withdraw her.
I'm afraid that the teachers won't watch her during field trips and she'll wander off.
I'm afraid that she won't be my little girl anymore once she goes to school.

I know she's not going away for months and months, and I know that I'm going to see her for the same amount of time each day, and I know I'm totally her favorite mommy in the whole world... it's just... this is tough.  And it's going to be tough until I we get settled into it.

But for right now, I've got butterflies in my stomach and I kinda feel like I'm going to toss my cookies whenever I start to think about her leaving the nest.  And right now, I'm just whining italicising way too much because I'm feeling a little insecure about leaving behind the familiar and venturing into unknown territory. 

Even though I know that she's going to be fine and she'll fit in great because she's wonderful. 

I'm the one who'll be a mess.


Anonymous said...

You have stated your fears and that will help you to live with them. I too feel protective of Katie and want the very best for her. G & G will pray for her and you too as your little girl is growing up too fast. Where has the time gone since we came home for a surprise baby shower for her and then come home to a week old infant that was so helpless and now look at her.

Anonymous said...

She will be so excited to tell her mommy EVERYTHING!!!